Photo by Kevin Dooley
I wrote this post already. I wrote it on Saturday night, and it was a doozy of a post. One of those great posts that just slips from my fingers to paper like water. It said everything I wanted to say in just the way I wanted to say it. Then it disappeared.
Enter frustration and anger.
I kick myself for not making sure to save it carefully. I can find everything else I was working on at the same time, but this one Very Important Post? Gone.
What was it about? Get this. It was about forging order and balance in a world that will never be truly under control.
It all started Saturday night as I was catching up on blog reading. I have a section in my Google Reader called Inspirational Blogs.
Blogs To Help You Find Yourself In 10 Easy Steps
50 Inspirational Sayings To Help Let Go Of Attachment, Find & Open Your Heart Shakras
How To Break Free From Bad Habits & Learn To Rule the World.
It’s not that I don’t find value in posts such as these. Websites like Leo Barbauta’s Zen Habits and Chris Gillebeau’s The Art of Nonconformity are great. You’ll always find great information to help you reorganize, order and breath through difficult spots.
What frustrates me about them is they give the impression that the writers of those articles are always under control of everything in their lives. From what I read, I’d believe they exercise every day, meditate, do yoga, finish their work, get the best deals on all flights. Their kids never
whine. Their meals, always balanced and their inboxes always empty.
And maybe they do, but not me. Not even close.
One Advice Cannot Not Fit All
I remember reading on Tim Ferris’ website how the number one rule of keeping order in your e-mail box is never use it as a file cabinet. All of mine are file cabinets.
Me? I have a to do list a mile long and I probably spend more time than I should searching for things I should have put away where they were supposed to go. Only I wasn’t really sure where they were supposed to go because my to do list has so many variables, each item would go in a place of its own, which doesn’t really organize anything. It only forces me to add Organize Files to my to do list.
Perhaps there are many people who are able to find that serene sense of order that eludes me. I have simply come to the conclusion that I must accept the chaos and learn to exist with it.
Thus, I have developed:
My Own Personal Rules of Dealing With Chaos & Imperfection.
1. There will always be more to do.
2. It will all eventually get done.
3. That which doesn’t get done, probably didn’t need to be done
in the first place.
4. If I forget something, it won’t matter too much.
5. If it does matter a lot, I will deal with it.
Case Study: One Day In the Life of Leigh
Today, Noah took Lila to school only to find today she has no school which made having our regular Monday morning meeting over Skype with an education consultant in NY difficult. So we set Lila up in our bedroom with a movie – proving exactly how fantastic Mr Fox can actually be. Then the dog starts barking halfway through. Lila sweetly lets him in the house when she
comes into the kitchen to pour herself another bowl of cornflakes. I put him on my lap in an attempt to calm him down. It doesn’t work. Then our internet gets fuzzy.
Meeting ends early because of all the noise and our internet line goes completely down. The dog, somehow miraculously shits on the floor in the five minutes he was in the house even though he was on my lap most of the time. I revive the internet and go to publish my amazing article written Saturday night only to find it has disappeared.
Bottom line, no matter how much I get under control, I will never be able to get my head around everything. There will always be something that goes beyond my capacity.
But it is not the end of the world, and I am not perfect.
And that is fine with me.
P.S. If I ever do find my first, wonderfully perfect article, I’ll be sure to post it here.
16 comments
Carolina says:
May 18, 2010 at 1:43 am (UTC 0)
Love your rules, that pretty much sums it up for me. I live with my sister, who subscribes to all those home/lifestyle magazines where every month there are simple solutions to all of life’s chaos. Except they’re never that simple.
I laugh because reading those articles just stresses me out more. There’s nothing that’s real simple, except taking a nap, or chilling with my family. So I just try to remember to do a lot more of that.
p.s. hope you do find that article!
Candice says:
May 18, 2010 at 9:28 am (UTC 0)
“3. That which doesn’t get done, probably didn’t need to be done in the first place.”
Lol, that’s definitely the most important rule.
And I can’t help but giggle at the dog’s refusal to poop outdoors.
neha says:
May 18, 2010 at 9:32 am (UTC 0)
Aah. So needed to read this today! Thank you.
Leigh Shulman says:
May 18, 2010 at 10:41 am (UTC 0)
Those articles completely stress me out!
Have you ever seen the Fly Ladies? They have this list of methods for keeping yourself stress free and organized. I used to get their daily e-mail reminders of what to do, but they made me so nuts, I had to opt out of the listserv.
They also suggest getting fully dressed every day even if you work at home. And while I agree, too many days of the same sweatpants can be depressing, there’s no way I’ll be getting fully dressed every morning before waking Lila.
And I did find the article just a few minutes ago. For whatever reason, it was hidden. When I went to restart my computer, I suddenly got a message asking of I wanted to save it! Yay!
(Although, to be honest, I think I like my second version of the article a bit better anyway)
Leigh Shulman says:
May 18, 2010 at 10:42 am (UTC 0)
I’m all about #3. When we left NY, we had a huge bag of Very Important Mail to go through but didn’t have the chance.
When we got back a year later, only a few things in the pile needed attention (which mostly meant filing away somewhere for later). The rest we threw away.
And let me get this straight. You’re giggling bc there’s dog poop on my floor?
Leigh Shulman says:
May 18, 2010 at 10:44 am (UTC 0)
So glad this was timely. I think I repeat these to myself almost every day. Along with the word “Mellow!”
Lola says:
May 18, 2010 at 11:05 am (UTC 0)
“3. That which doesn’t get done, probably didn’t need to be done in the first place.”
Totally on point. Unnecessary tasks have a natural way of weeding themselves out of our lives; if we only let them go.
JR Riel says:
May 19, 2010 at 5:30 am (UTC 0)
my heart sank for you when i got to the 2nd paragraph. it’s good to hear you found it tho, i was actually wondering if you tried restarting, as mine will automatically prompt me to revive or re-whatever it if i shut it down without saving (which i do a lot.) i’m definitely revisiting this one as this is something i really need to come to terms with. and like others, i LOVE rule #3
Leigh Shulman says:
May 19, 2010 at 3:53 pm (UTC 0)
My heart also sank, especially since it was the second article I lost that day. (The other one happened because when i went to save on WordPress, my connection went down and the entire thing just disappeared. Thankfully, I had the bulk of the text in Word).
But yes, when I restarted my computer, the first article reappeared and asked to be saved. Which I did, and will post parts of it — some is too similar to this post — another day.
Rule three works for me, but I also have to keep reminding myself of it.
Audrey says:
May 19, 2010 at 6:25 pm (UTC 0)
Like others have said, this post is very timely. #1 has been a constant for us these last few years and while usually I’m at peace with this fact and try to tell myself that I’d prefer a life with too many ideas and projects than none, it can still feel overwhelming at times. With our current visit to the States, I’m feeling pulled in a lot of directions, but my first priority is to spend time with my family who are getting older. I have to keep reminding myself of #3 – the other things will get done somehow – but my time with my family is limited.
When Dan and I stayed with you, we were amazed at how you were able to juggle so much personal and professional stuff all at the same time. I am sorry to hear that Mani still hasn’t figured out that he’s supposed to poo outside instead of inside. One day…
Linda says:
May 19, 2010 at 10:38 pm (UTC 0)
“…proving exactly how fantastic Mr. Fox can be.” Love it.
At least the dog didn’t poop in your lap.
Marilyn_Res says:
May 20, 2010 at 2:12 am (UTC 0)
When I started reading this post I was afraid it would make me feel guilty about how messy and time-wasteful I am, but I was happy to find it wasn’t that kind of post at all. Thanks for the affirmation!
Leigh Shulman says:
May 20, 2010 at 8:50 am (UTC 0)
So true, Lola.
Same applies to old mail, I find.
Leigh Shulman says:
May 20, 2010 at 9:05 am (UTC 0)
I’m glad from the outside it looks like I’m juggling things. Most of the time, it feels like triage.
I also find life speeds up when we get to the US. I chalk it up to the pace there. Everything just feels more busy, and I find it difficult to readjust. Then again, I have to learn to slow down again (which feels like a speeded up version of what most people live in Salta).
And yes, I also keep reminding myself that family time is limited, especially when you move far away, but it’s also a good reminder for those people you see every day.
Mani… well… Let’s put him under rule number 6.
Leigh Shulman says:
May 20, 2010 at 9:05 am (UTC 0)
Lol, Linda. Truly. Would you believe it if I told you that’s my daily mantra?
Leigh Shulman says:
May 20, 2010 at 9:06 am (UTC 0)
I know, Marilyn. Sometimes I forget and my own title stresses me out.